You Gotta Believe

My childhood love affairs with the famous Dragon Coaster and the New York Mets prepared me for the ups and downs of a creative career.

The anticipation. The ascension. The dips. These are all part of every roller coaster ride. And every season, every game ( sometimes every inning). And they all play roles in most creative careers, too.

Just entering historic Rye Playland filled my youthful heart with magic and wonder. When I was straddling the middle between Kiddie Land and the Big rides, I would wait in line, standing tall, working a nasty little hole in the tip of my sneakers, hoping, praying I'd make the height line. I used to base my summer's success on the number of visits my family made to Playland.

When I finally made it onto the Dragon Coaster,I remember that queasy feeling that crept from my stomach to my head as we boarded the ride cars, buckled in for a wild, raucous, three minute romp. Kids would titter, giggle, laugh even before the ride started. The laughter, the screaming reached a crescendo as we took our first big, thrilling dip.

I loved it all. Until. Until the summer I turned seventeen and got a job ( actually begged for a job) as a relief ticket-taker. I'd roam the grounds of the hallowed Playland, proudly wearing my red and white striped carnival barker's shirt, filling in for the regular ticket-takers on a variety of rides, including my beloved Dragon Coaster. Somehow turning kids away and getting lambasted in a compendium of United Nations' languages sapped all the majesty and mystique out of the Playland experience.

But I still have my Mets. Hooked on New York's other baseball team by my dad, who had been a fervent Brooklyn Dodgers' fan, I inherited his love for the underdog Amazins ( and,come to think of it, all underdogs, not to mention my love of writing). I'm too young to remember the 1969 Miracle Mets, but I do know they clinched the World Series against the Orioles on October 16-my mom's birthday. And I'll forever hold Tug McGraw's 1973 inspirational anthem, " You Gotta Believe," in my heart. It's seen me through many hapless seasons. And the glorious 1986 championship season ( here's where Red Sox fans can use the boost), and near misses in 1999 and 2000, a pair of crash-and-burn Septembers in 2007 & 2008 and back-to-back lacklusters in 2009 & '10. It spirits me on through our less than auspicious entree into the 2011 season. I'm still hoping, waiting, knowing a recovery is imminent; a real comeback is in the offing.

And so it is with my creative career, too. I love the whole shebang--from conceiving a project to executing it; from launching it into the world to fielding feedback from audiences and readers. It's all part of the process. And you have to love it all to make any of it happen. I love the possibilities of a new project, all the details that get discovered, the stories that are fleshed out along the way. I yearn for success, of course, but I embrace the failures too. I've even developed a perverse sort of love for rejection letters. Each one is a symbol of my commitment to my work. People have a right to say no. They can't get it right every time. And neither can I. But every stumbling block, every obstacle, they are all part of the thrilling ride.

I know a lot of creative people face artistic blocks and confidence dips. But joy and tenacity often conspire to embed enough faith in the heart to set the hard working wheels in motion.

So if you come to play,be prepared to work hard and practice, practice, practice. Accept that you'll strike out a few times. But if your disciplined, you'll get to run the bases. And if you work hard enough and if you're truly lucky you may just hit one out of the park. Maybe even two. Or three.

Hey, you gotta believe!

Cheers and onward.

aba

Living Out Loud Part I: Intentions

"so much to do, so little done, such things to be."--Elizabeth Taylor

I've been talking a lot lately about living out loud. Just what that means, all that it entails, really depends on the person living ( or trying to) live that life. Really. Remember, no one-size fits all formula for success and happiness. Sorry, if that's the instant quick fix you're looking to buy, move on: I'm not selling it here.

What I've been getting at is the notion of living the life you want as boldly and loudly as you can. Start with identifying what you want and need. Now and as you forge into the future. That old (oxymoron alert) new agey slogan, "If you can dream it, you can be it, " writ large. And if you're gonna dream, you might as well dream BIG.

Be bold, audacious. And say it. Okay, here's where folks sometimes recoil. Some are afraid of potential ridicule, others fear mere mention of their desires will put the kibosh on the whole thing. I've never cared much about looking the fool in the eyes of strangers or, for that matter, my close circle. Pretty sure most folks are familiar with my various follies by now ( and most have engaged in their fair share, too). But I admit I have often employed the "jinx theory." Yep, as sagacious as I may be, I , too have fallen prey to the erroneous idea that if I actually articulate my hopes and dreams, somehow they won't come true.

Silly right? I mean come on, simply declaring my desire to write a bestselling novel, say, or host a popular syndicated radio show, doesn't negate the future success of such lofty aspirations. On the contrary, by asserting the desire I am putting both myself and the universe on notice. These are my intentions. Help me turn them into reality.

Another grand personal growth ditty: "Say it to claim it" applies here. Start by first naming the intention, then say it aloud. Say it first--and frequently--to yourself. This may actually be the hardest part for some people. Just admitting what it is that you want and need can be both daunting and an enormous relief.

Once you've become comfortable with the concept, once your intention is clear and right to you, shout it, with all your might, into the universe. Go outside, stand under the stars and roar into the night.

Now that you know, and the universe knows, you may be ready to share the intention with your coach, teacher, friend, spouse. You'll probably skip running up to random strangers and declaring your future plans. That sort of exuberant outburst may work for some folks, but since I can't gauge the range of myriad reactions, I'm not officially recommending such free-falling enthusiasm.

Say it, claim it. Dream it, be it.

Revel in the release of the intention. And then get ready to work harder than you've ever worked in your life to make it so.

To be continued....

Cheers and onward.

aba

Start Me Up

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." Walt Disney

Start with the smell of burnt toast. Or look for a pair of missing earrings. Try falling out of love. Or waiting for an interview for a job you desperately want ( or one you never thought you'd have to get). Start with a line from a song or a classic movie. Look at a snapshot from a family album. Or a photo from the newspaper.

These are all prompts I have used in creative writing workshops to help writers tap into the creative well that is available to every artist. We typically use the first fifteen to twenty minutes of each session to just write, write, write. The prompt is merely a suggestion- a jumping off point- which can be used or eschewed in favor of an image or idea rumbling around in a writer's head. The premise: uncensored, uninhabited writing can open the creative passageway often blocked by the raging self-doubt of that pesky inner critic who always seems to tag along for the ride.

After we finish writing, folks can share or pass ( I'm the only one who never passes; I think as the facilitator it is incumbent upon me to share). No one offers criticism. How can we? We know the work can't be very good; it is after all, a very raw, rough draft. People can, however, mention a particular image that stood out, if they are so inclined.

The surprising thing: many of the images, turns of phrase, characters, are often vivid or amusing or touching. Some even serve as starting points for stories and poems, scripts and even books. You'd be amazed at what your inner artist can do when s/he is left to play without fear of recriminations, without that pounding "It's no good," "No one will care," "No one will ever publish this."

These exercises give you permission to try, to play, to experiment. And once you dip into that creative well, you're apt to dip in again and again.

Is something burning? It may be your desire to connect or re-connect with your inner artist. Or it may just be your breakfast. Either way, it's time to get started.

Drive safe, play nice, think peace.

aba

Ready For Change?

"They always say time changes things, but actually you have to change them yourself. -Andy Warhol

Think about the following statements: Change is hard. Change is exciting. Which one sounds more inviting?

Approaching any change--career, artistic endeavor, relationship,diet, etc.--with the belief that it will be a long, arduous slog is far more daunting to most of us than if we embrace the change as an adventure. Re-framing the way we look at the world is the first step of finding happiness with our lives as they currently are and successfully handling transitions and effectively achieving goals.

Easier said than done, I know. And that's where an effective coach comes in. As a creativity coach I can help you define your goals and focus on the area or areas in your life that you'd like to change, expand and explore.

As a professionally trained coach and counselor with a Masters degree in Mental Health Counseling and post-graduate work in Creative Writing and Personal Coaching, I have helped clients in one-on-one sessions as well as through writing and personal growth workshops for ten years. I am also a professional writer--a journalist, award-winning playwright and novelist-- and radio talk show host. I have faced my share of transitions as I've navigated, from the driver's seat, the bumpy ride that a creative life often traverses.

I can help you:

set realistic goals
create and implement action plans
explore creative and spiritual arenas
conquer artistic blocks
work on relationships

As your coach I will: offer you a safe space where you will always be heard, validated, encouraged and held accountable to your goals.

Coaching is a rewarding, inter-active process. As we forge this unique partnership, we will collaborate on an amazing journey of positive growth and change.

Phone sessions are available; so no matter where you are, I can be accessible to you. In person sessions and workshops are available by arrangement in New York and Connecticut, though many local clients also find phone sessions more convenient and intimate.

I invite you to start a creative conversation.

Call me at (914) 939-5579 or
e-mail: abwrites@optonline.net
The first conversation, of course, is on me.

Thank you.

Drive safe. Play nice. Think peace.

Amy Beth Arkawy

Life Stories

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." e.e. cummings

The past has had me in its thrall over the last few weeks. A few surprising Facebook re-connections and a fiction project set during my halcyon college days has sent me into trippy territory.

As I was playing catch- up with a friend I hadn't spoken with in over ten years, it occurred to me that trying to describe your life to someone who hasn't been in it for a long time is like explaining a soap opera to someone who never watched it. It can sound a little crazy. Maybe a lot crazy.

Turns out, it's also a great writing exercise and coaching tool for anyone who wants to assess his/her life. Just where you begin tells a lot about you and what's most important in your life. Same for the details you share and the ones you omit. Remember: it's not just what you say, but also what you leave out that speaks to your story, and your life.

Of course, sometimes your audience will determine just what you say. A distant friend may be a better springboard for the unfiltered truth than say your spouse, kids or parents. That's why folks go to coaches and therapists, too. It's easier to be honest with someone who doesn't have as big a stake in the way things have turned out or appear.

On the other hand, sometimes --especially if you've had a competitive friendship with someone-- you may tend to exaggerate accomplishments and downplay disappointments. So for the purposes of the exercise, try writing a letter to a long-lost friend with whom you have nothing but affection. If there is no such person in your past, he/she can be easily conjured. This is just an exercise for you to honestly take stock in your life. Try answering the following questions within the narrative:

Where are you vs. where you thought you'd be. Have you achieved your goals/ have they changed? What is your proudest personal and professional achievements? What challenges have you faced and how have you handled adversity? What do you regret most? Who are the most important people in your life?

Don't just list the questions--and you don't have to answer all of them; there may be others that seem more relevant as you write. Just let yourself write your story, allowing your authentic voice to come through in a brief, page length version. You may be fascinated by both what you highlight and omit. And be amazed at the questions that surface.

These short life stories can be used to mine creative material for fiction and drama. They can also be fabulous barometers and teaching tools for those yearning to make personal, creative and career transitions. You may be surprised at just what emerges as your next big step.

So be brave and honest. And get ready to immerse yourself in your own life. I think you'll find it an exhilarating and illuminating journey.

Drive safe. Play nice. Think peace.

aba

Cultivating the Write Stuff

"If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot."-Stephen King

Here's the thing about writing no one ever tells you when you're starting out and probably still in school, ensconced, perhaps in a nice cozy writing program: in the real world writing can be a pretty lonely occupation. And it can often take years before you'll have anything in the way of tangible, earthly evidence to show for your efforts.

Still in? Then get to it. Write, write, write. And read everything you can get your hands on, too. Experiment with different authors and genres. Stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. Go as far as you can without needing a cranial chiropractor.

If you're out of school, you might want to find a writing group or workshop to join. I've been a member and facilitator of such workshops and always find the connections, criticism and companionship inspiring. Even if the group is small or you don't find the critiques particularly sophisticated, you'll get a boost just by sharing your work. Heck, for some folks just leaving the house and talking to people is enough reward.

Seriously, the best thing a supportive workshop or group can do is offer you a space to be heard, encouraged and held accountable. Yeah, I said accountable. Most writers fall prey to procrastination, but with a group's weekly ( or bi-weekly) deadline approaching, you may be pleasantly surprised at your own output.

Spend your time outside the group writing and re-writing, borrowing tricks and insights you picked up from your colleagues. Don't forget to leave some time for reading, too. You'll want to unearth wisdom from professional journals and blogs to share with your fellow writers at the next session. And immerse yourself in fiction or non-fiction that ignites your passion for craft.

Do it again the next week. And the week after that. And so forth until you've actually cultivated something resembling the write stuff. You might even have something to show the world. And you'll more than likely have begun to enjoy the solitary writing life just a little bit more.

Drive safe Play nice. Think peace.

aba

Rules & Rituals

I'm not a big rules person. Oh, I believe in the Golden Rule and all that other good stuff I learned and have been (trying to) faithfully practice since Kindergarten. But when it comes to writing and life, there is no one size fits all rule book. So my advice to clients and students: forget every rule all those well meaning teachers, friends and self-help articles gave you.

Here's a sampling of some of my favorite iron-clad concepts that I've buried in wisdom's backyard: you have to write every day; never read anything while you're immersed in a project; read every single thing you can put your eyes on, only write what you know; never write from the opposite gender's p.o.v; never write in the present tense; set the scene with explicit physical descriptions; limit physical descriptions; never use adverbs!

The rules are endless. And some make sense for some people some of the time. But none of them work for everyone all the time. And since most of my clients and students are folks who have little writing experience, haven't written in a quite some time or are battling artistic blocks, handing them a list of restrictive rules seems counter-intuitive. What I try to do instead is provide prompts and offer suggestions. I encourage people to try different approaches. Play, experiment, see what fits, what works for you.

While I eschew rules, I am a believer in rituals. Not that there's a rule about it, of course, but I find developing rituals--and for me I often change them to ensure their freshness and effectiveness--help me fall into a positive, creative groove.

When I'm in a writing funk ( yeah even coaches and teachers get stuck), I will fall back on some of the practices I embraced years ago following Julia Cameron's principles in "The Artist's Way." The biggest among them: the dreaded "Morning Pages." When I first started that program, I found it difficult--no--excruciating to have to scribble three long hand stream-of-consciousness pages every single morning. For one thing--despite a checkered radio career that included hosting not one, but two morning drive shows, I am not, by nature, a morning kind of gal. I also found that rather than producing anything resembling Virginia Woolf's famed style, the pages had an early laundry list quality with a disgruntled overtone.

But after a week or so, I got into a groove and the writing started to contain glimmers of meaning and inspiration. Not that I follow this practice religiously. I go through journal writing jags; and when I do it it's usually at night. That works for me. If you're like some of my students who just can't cope with morning pages in the morning, try them at night. See if that works.

Music is also a big part of my writing process. I usually have the radio or a CD on while I'm writing. And often before I start, I'll listen to a particular song. The song often changes depending on the project. For a while, I'd listen to the entire disc I of Van Morrison's "Hymns to the Silence" before even tackling a single word. Somehow this musical meditation lured me into the characters' interior lives. It was a little time consuming, and it may have been a subconscious stall tactic. But for a time, it worked, so I indulged myself.

I've experimented with when and where I write, too. I wrote most of the first draft of my first novel at Starbucks in long hand. Much of the second one, too. I always write my first drafts in long hand. And since I need a Rosetta Stone to transcribe my own handwriting, I am motivated to hit the computer for the first re-write immediately if not sooner.

I've had clients who need to wear a particular sweater, write at a certain time of day, eat the same breakfast, go for a swim or walk before or after writing, surround themselves with good luck talismans, read a bible passage, open a fortune cookie. Hey, I'm from the whatever works school.

Just remember as a rule, there are no rules when it comes to rituals.

Drive safe. play nice. Think peace.

aba